Background: I (the guy) am slightly over 50 and she is slightly over 45. We are not swingers and had never done anything like Desire before. We are outgoing, very open minded and enjoy an active life together. We started looking into Desire when she asked "Would you ever consider going to a topless resort?" Hey, I'm a guy, so the answer was obvious. I had heard about Hedo somewhere, so I did what all type-A guys do....I hit the internet and began researching. I quickly found Desire. What attracted both of us, and ultimately led to our decision to pick Desire over Hedo or other similar resorts, was: 1) Couples only, 2) a slightly more sophisticated crowd (not my term, just what was on the internet). We were looking for a sensuous, and fun place, not spring break gone wild. We picked well.....extremely well.
We booked our trip through Char Travel. Definitely use Char if you get a chance. She spent almost an hour on the phone with us, answering questions and offering advice BEFORE we booked with her. After we booked, she answered even more newbie questions via email. She gave us a great price and the agency staff made the process incredibly easy. At Char's suggestion, we joined the Hot Tamles/YNots group. We were not at all sure if it was the right thing to do. After all, this is an established group of swingers who know each other well from previous trips. As newbies, we thought we might be left out on the fringes as the rest of the group stuck together. But we decided to take Char's advice figuring that worst case we would hang to ourselves and have a good beach break. Our fears were absolutely baseless and we are so glad we took Char's advice!
Travel day was unremarkable. As suggested on this forum, we kept our eyes straight ahead as we passed through the gauntlet of timeshare hawkers at the exit from the Cancun airport. (BTW if you've never been to that airport, it's pretty well set up and easy to negotiate.) Once outside the sliding glass doors with our luggage, we were faced with a wall of hired transport drivers all looking for their pre-arranged passengers. Almost everyone spoke good English and they helped us find the driver from CARM transport, whom Char had arranged for us. We knew in advance that we were sharing a van with another couple from the group heading to the resort. We were a little anxious about what it would be like with a veteran Desire couple.
Any concerns that we had, vanished in the blink of an eye as soon as we met them. They were the nicest, most friendly couple that we had met in a very long time. "So is this your first trip to Desire?" was a question that we were asked and would be frequently over the next few days. Whenever we answered "yes", it was followed by a genuinely happy response of "You will love it" or "We're glad you decided to come" and a flood of helpful suggestions. The conversation in the van (and all others after that) flowed easily from one topic to the next; kids, work, travel, etc. It was punctuated by frequently laughter. That first conversation was the template for how it went all week long.
Checking in to Desire was equally easy. We stood in the lobby for 30 sec, looking a bit lost until we were directed outside by a staff member (after handing us each a cool drink) to the check in table. We skipped the timeshare plug (another benefit to booking through Char and going with a group) signed some papers, got our id bands (no lifestyle bands) and were warmly welcomed "back home". Since we got there in the afternoon, our room was ready. We dropped our bags, changed into swim suits and decided to explore on our way down to the beach. As we walked through the front, open-air lobby bar, Char greeted us by name and gave us a lanyard to carry around our room key. With no pockets, the lanyard proved quite useful (tip if you don't travel with a group, bring a lanyard). The resort is very compact, but not crowded, so it took us all of 5 min to figure our way around and find the beach.
I barely had my butt in the lounge chair before we struck up a conversation with several other people and Africa from the bar staff came by to take a drink order. Like the prior conversation, this was friendly, easy and filled with suggestions from Desire vets. There was clearly a bit of feeling out whether or not we were "in the lifestyle" but not even remotely in a pressured sort of way. We hung out on the beach for about 45 min before deciding to head up to the famed Jacuzzi to see what life at Desire was really like. Like I said, we are open minded, but were a bit apprehensive about what we were going to find up there.
The hot tub was packed, the bar was full, the music was rocking (not too loud). The loudest thing we heard was the laughter. People were having a great time. The beds were mostly empty as people were busy socializing in the hot tub and at the bar. I waited for a few minutes on a drink and struck up a conversation with one of the group hosts (who also greeted me by name. Yet another advantage of booking with Char and going with a group). My better half jumped into the hot tub naked and was quickly involved in her own conversation with another female guest. The drinks flowed freely thanks to the incredibly hard working bar tenders and the laughter flowed equally freely. It was an absolute blast. Yes, the question of whether or not we were "in the lifestyle" came up multiple times, but like the prior time, and as it would be throughout the week, we never, ever felt pressured or shunned when we answered "no". If it hadn't been for the setting sun and the slow migration of people away from the hot tub toward dinner, we would have stayed there having fun until who knows when. We eventually climbed out, got cleaned up and headed to dinner at the buffet.
The food at the buffet was okay. Not bad, but not outstanding either. It turns out that the quality at the buffet varies from night to night. And we learned that you can ask for something else, even from one of the specialty restaurant menus if you're at the buffet. After dinner we got on our theme wear for the evening and headed to the lobby bar for after dinner drinks and more socialization. Any worries about how to dress should be jettisoned. We saw all kinds of outfits. Guys were in everything from bikini underwear to grey slacks with polo shirts. The women wore extremely low cut or see-thru dresses, simple skirts, or sexy lingerie (Yep that was my gal in the bright red corset and g-string). You name it, people wore it. And it didn't matter what you wore, everyone treated each other the same.
After more than a few drinks, the crowd moved to the disco for the shake-your-booty contest. A few prizes were handed out for the winners. It was all done in fun and there were a lot of laughs. The music was loud and on target for this crowd of 40-50 year olds. We glanced in the sin room, which was being used by only two couples and decided to take advantage of it another night, which we did. We headed back up to the Jaccuzzi.
Although the resort is small enough to go back to your room and change into a robe, there are plenty of places to stow your clothing at the jaccuzi. So there's no need to change before going if you don't want to. We took advantage of an empty bed off to the side and "played" in the Desire way under the stars. It was quite a rush. By the time we made it back to our room it was almost 2am. Any worries that we had about being able to stay up for all the late night activities vanished when we saw the clock that night. The whole day had gone by in a rapid blur and the only worry that we had was that our week wasn't going to be long enough for us.
The rest of the week followed a sort of loose schedule. Up in the morning (not too early or too late). A light breakfast at the buffet. Hit the beach for some serious relaxation. Lunch around noon at the outdoor buffet. Drinks on the beach starting in the early afternoon. Jaccuzzi around 4 followed by dinner. Lobby bar in theme wear after dinner, followed by the resort's evening entertainment. Then more jaccuzi and personal "entertainment". Finally collapsing into bed in the wee morning hours. Every activity highlighted by great conversation with all kinds of people and a ton of laughter.
All of the above is a very long way to paint a picture of what a great place Desire is. We met the absolute best people, laughed more than we ever had, and made new friends in the blink of an eye. So for those who haven't been and are probably anxious about what you might be geting yourselves into, here's the summary:
1) Go! You will NOT regret it
2) Talk, talk, talk with your partner before you go. Be sure that you know what you want and what you don't. Be sure that you're both comfortable with your limits. And continue to talk while you're there.
3) Go with an open mind and do not have too many expectations about what will, or will not, happen.
4) Expect to be approached and to talk with lots of people. If you're going for a nice, quiet, private vacation just the two of you, Desire RM is not the place (at least it wasn't for us) You will meet all kinds of great people.
5) Do NOT worry about clothing. You will see everything. Wear whatever you feel comfortable wearing. Push your boundaries and be outrageous if you have any inclination to do so.
6) Get naked. Everyone else is. But don't feel bad about wearing shorts if you want to. It truly doesn't matter
7) Bring sunscreen and use it liberally. Getting sunburnt really puts a crimp on your vacation. Wear a hat too
Do NOT worry about your body type. There are all shapes and sizes there and nobody cares if you have scar, sag or stretch mark (man or woman)9) Book with Char Travel and go with a group if you can. Be sure to ask about the "character" of the group before you book.
10) Don't be afraid to ask the staff for something while you're there. They work incredibly hard and really want you to have a good time. I asked for meals without MSG and wound up talking to the exec chef on some nights.
11) Bring lots of singles to tip the staff as you go. They really deserve it.
12) Be prepared to book your next vacation at Desire. You're going to want to go back. We've already made plans for 2014.
This trip report is already way too long. I hope it gives a feel for what our introduction to Desire as newbies was like. Feel free to send me a pm with any questions you might have. .
very nice.