Poss 1st timers, wife interested but hesitant. Info please.

[Newd]

We are considering a trip to Pearl in February. We would be first timers to any clothing optional resort. We are 38 and 36.

My wife and I have reviewed the web site. We are both fully aware of the nature of the resort. We come from a very socially conservative background. (We are from a conservative state in the Rocky Mountains. We are part of the predominant religion. I'll let you read between the lines. )

We have been to the mediterranean and to the Riviera Maya before. My wife has gone topless. We are no strangers to a bit of exhibitionism/sex in public (sex in hotel high rise windows, sex in a park, sex in a gondola, etc). She and I are game for a lot of things.

We are also not bothered by erotica. We occasionally view it, but we've never actually seen other people having sex "live."

Alcohol? While it's taboo in our culture, we're not strangers, partaking on occasions.

We aren't swingers. We don't care or judge others that are, however. And, I guess that is her biggest concern. Her comments have been "I'm worried that it could end up being some kind of dirty 70's thing. She's joked that she's worried that if she goes there are going to be a bunch of guys like Red from "That 70's Show" that will be hitting on her constantly. Is there much of that kind of thing? How does that work?

She's also concerned about having to be fully nude. She said, "You can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink." When I asked her, she said that she meant she wasn't sure how comfortable she'd be with the full nude thing and/or participating in activities/PDA with other people around. I asked her, "So you are willing to go, but you are going to sit in the room?" She answered, "No, I'll go out and to the beach and enjoy the resort, but I might not be nude and go to the hot tub, etc."

We've thought about a naturalist resort, but neither of us is wanted to be around families. The idea of kids and families being around us while nude doesn't sit comfortably with us. For those that do it, more power to them.

I guess I'm wondering if there are any others out there that were in a similar situation. Interested but hesitant.

We both know Desire is clothing optional. We both know about the play room, the hot tub, the PDA and the night club.

I'm fully on board. Mostly, because I think it would be a huge turn on for ME to see HER completely uninhibited. As I've said, she hasn't been opposed to going topless in public, so it's not a huge reach. She's not a super model, but she's in great shape and is beautiful. I think this would be great for her self-confidence.

She is on board, but hesitant. Partly because this a bit "naughty" for us. But I think also, because she's got a tummy scar from surgery.

This definitely won't be a case of me "surprising" her with this trip.

Is there room for a couple like us at Desire? A couple with maybe "one foot in"? Will she feel out of place if she wears a bikini bottom? Will she feel out of place with a tummy scar? Do men always go without bottoms or do men wear speedos/swim boxers/swim trunks?

Is there body painting at Pearl? She's interested in that.

Are there henna tattoos at Pearl? We've read that elsewhere there might be and she might be interested in that to disguise her scar in a non-permanent way.

What about costumes for the night club? Can you buy them/rent them there? Is there a way to know what the themes will be for those nights? What do men wear to the club? How elaborate are the costumes or do women often just wear lingerie?

The couples massage? We know it's "sensual", but to what extent. We are interested, but can anyone give us some detail as to how far or what the massage therapists "do" to the partners during this massage?

Are there people our age? I've read a lot on this forum, and I think it's awesome there are so many people from so many age groups, but I do think it would be a bit... weird... if we get there and there is nobody our age and everyone is in their 50's or 60's. Is there a mix of people? We have NOTHING against the older crowd. Believe me. But it would be disappointing if we are the only ones in our age group...

Having never been to a C/O resort, let alone Desire Pearl, we have tons of questions. So many unknowns.

So, anyone have thoughts on this?

We are on the verge of booking, but need to have some answers before we do.

Thanks so much in advance for your replies. This step can be a bit overwhelming and daunting!

[neatfeet]

This is a very thoughtful, articulate post and really reflects many of our concerns also as first timers. Since we have not yet gone, I cannot offer any input, however numerous people have been kind enough to respond to our post. Bottom line is that we are going, we are excited and we are open! Everything I read says that it is clean, we'll managed and with friendly and respectful guests. You only live once! Hope that you go, have an awesome time, and share your experience afterwards.

D & M

[CokeMann]

@Newd - You will be fine, just don't over think it beforehand - the only expectation that you should have is that you will both have a great vacation with each other

Also, have her post her own concerns/questions, there are lots of ladies on the forum that went on their first trip to Desire with many of the same FUDs (Fears, Uncertainties, Doubts) that would be happy to answer her directly via post or PM.

[2naked]

We were in the same boat 2 years ago. Both from very conservative backgrounds, but not prudes and a little adventurous. My wife had the same concerns about being hit on. She was totally ok being naked though. You should read my trip report here... viewtopic.php?f=14&t=1916
It is for RM and not Pearl but similar enough. Pearl is a little smaller and has a slightly less swinger vibe so probably a good first time choice. The evening entertainment is non existant at Pearl other than the Disco. It has many things nicer than RM though. Like Coke said, don't over think it. Just go and you will be hooked like the rest of us addicts

[playbears57]

Newd,

We were first timers to Desire last February. Been back 2 times since. Your descriptions of yourself could read as our biography.

Like you we were certainly open to being naked, and had an exhibitionist streak. Therefore, we had a blast. Don't worry about lifestylers they are generally very respectful. She will not be surrounded by men, its couples only, and by and large women drive the show at Desire (its part of the attraction for us). We have had the very occassional request and a polite No suffices, no hard feelings. Generally we found if you mingle at the bar or in the jacuzzi it is the only time these requests come. If your making out on a jacuzzi bed, you are definitely left alone (though appreciated in other ways).

As for scars, the female half of us has the same issue. She simply goes topless only no questions ever asked. People are very respectful. And at night she gets to wear very hot lingerie showing off her assets, which we both really enjoy.

As a couple we both partake and dress up for most theme nights, for us its part of the fun. Even though we come from "conservative" roots Desire is not about being naughty, rather we enjoy hot and fun times.

[Newd]

These are great responses.

Thanks for the input.

I'll try to have her post her FUDs here, too.

Please keep this info coming.

Thanks, 2naked for your link. We'll read that.

Any further input on some of the specifics would be awesome.

Thanks everyone.

[Ed&alie]

When will you be going in February? We will be there for Valentines weekend - first time at Pearl - so don't know anyone either

[Betterforyou747]

Just got back and had a great time (were newbs too) great food,drink,and fantastic staff!

Non lifestylers but perhaps curious, now lol! Same bio as you the wife was a little worried, but no longer! We struck a lot of things off the bucket list but never crossed those lines.(at least this time lol! )The best intimacy with my wife ever!

The conversation wasn't around what time are you coming home from work?, can you pick up the kids?
It was, do you want a Cosmo or a Marguerita ? Do you want to make love in the hotub or on our balcony?
Making sure we covered the suntan lotion all over her breasts or my manhood was the ONLY thing to worry about! Lol

We met great people from around the world and had great times dancing ,chatting and going on excursions with.

" Ask not what you can do at Desire, ask what Desire can do for you"! Should definitely be their slogan! Lol!

Thank you desire for giving me the opportunity to fall in love with the woman of my dreams all over again and again and again
Attempted to post twice but my iPad would konk out. You can pm me and I ll be glad to answer any questions!

Cokeman as a fellow Canadian we should idealize you as we do our hockey and Tim Hortons! Lol! Your forum helped us tremendously!

[sundaddy]

We were first timers in August and like most we were a little hesitant and nervous of the unknown. We had been going to topless resorts for many years and found the crowds were young couples/honeymooners and tho we're not life-stylers we do like a little spice now and then. I would consider myself bi and we have had a threesome and probably wouldn't rule out a swap with the right couple, but we're both pretty picky. We have friends who had been to Desire RM and we knew it wasn't for us so after doing a lot of research we decided on Pearl because it was smaller and couples only.

We're in our 50's but we work out and are in very good shape. I don't give my age out and often people think I'm in my late 30's early 40's. When we travel we definitely hang more with the 30's crowd than the 50's.

First, everyone at the resort was not naked...a lot of the women went topless and kept on bottoms, some men wore trunks all the time. I was topless the first day and my husband kept on his trunks but by the second day we decided to take it all off. I promise it just wasn't a big deal to anyone but us...lol. Once we got comfy naked it just seemed very natural.

The hot tub is definitely an interesting place. It's the place where the hookups happen. We didn't spend a lot of time there but we did spend a lot of time watching the hot tub since our room was right above it. It was very entertaining. If you want to get in the hot tub you risk being approached but everyone was very respectful and once they knew we weren't interested they moved on.

Being exhibitionists and voyeurs we loved watching the hot tub interactions and did have fun one evening having sex on a bed at the hot tub and even ventured as far as having sex one day on a beach bed. We did venture to Desire RM for the afternoon one day and we both felt really uncomfortable...the pool is very small and crowded and everyone was naked. We also went to the club there one night and wandered up to the hot tub area...it's also very small, was very crowded and all the beds were full of people having sex. It was way beyond our comfortability level...don't waste your time.

Alcohol, it's included so hard not to partake. We are big tequila drinkers and only drink one kind, which the resort didn't have. Since we were in a penthouse and were able to have a bottle of tequila daily in our room we paid extra for the kind we wanted and they got it for us. We would take it to the bar and the bartender would put it in the cooler and make us margaritas from it. I don't think you have to drink to have fun but you should at least try some of the daily specials : ))

Even if your wife isn't naked I promise she won't want to miss the "show" and there's nothing hotter than watching naked people all day. So...I'd say you'll still benefit when you go back to the room!

Regarding the club...don't miss it and try to participate in at least some of the theme nights. They don't have clothes or costumes but be creative and have fun with it. I found some see thru swimsuit covers that I wore with a very small thong under, some really small sexy shiny red shorts, a tiny thong glittery swimsuit...you get the picture. It does get crazy in the club depending on the crowd, and one night I was undressed by another woman on the dance floor...who was in her 20's btw. We never went in the playroom...we looked in one night and it was empty. We love to dance so we stayed on the dance floor most of the night.

Being a diverse crowd I wouldn't worry at all about her scar. Women have c-sections and tummy tucks and I have scars from my breast aug...I don't think anyone will notice or care.
My husband wore his Aussie Bums and Diesel trunks both which are small but we saw all kinds and sizes.

I don't remember body painting but they did a chocolate massage at the pool one day that I was picked for and it was pretty awesome! Speaking of massages...I think the couples sensual massage can be as wild or tame as you like. I think the masseuses read you and what you're into and go from there. We had a fantasy to fulfill and my husband told the guy who did my massage what we wanted before the massage, without me knowing. I told the girl doing his it was his birthday and our massages were amazing, to say the least. Fantasy fulfilled...lol. At one time I had six hands on me : ))

I'd say the average age there was mid to late 30's to mid 50's but there were some younger and some older.

The main think I'd tell you is just relax and go with the flow...you make your own choices based on what makes you and your wife comfortable. If it feels good and you both agree do it and if one or the other isn't comfortable with something say no or move on.

I promise it will be the trip of a lifetime for you! We're planning a trip back in July!!

[Newd]

Thanks all.

Some great info coming in.

Such a small world . I actually received an email from someone from this site that is from our "background." I guess we would't be the first. They shared some great info form a similar perspective.

Sounds like Pearl is a better option for more low-key, quiet types than RM?

[moiettoi]

Could easily relate to these questions! We were there for the first time a few days ago.
We have a hot sexual life, yet had never had any lifestlye type of activity, nor ever been naked in public...
well that was until last week!

We have had the best time in our life: these people have proven respectful, nice, and not pushy at all
But the level of sensuality of that place is like nothing else we have experienced before: sexual arousal may reach a point where it is almost painful... although there are reliable ways to obtain relief...

She was willing to go there, while not interested in the lifestyle aspect of it.
It turned out that she proved to have wonderful skills at it, much more so than him!
And we had an absolutely incredible experience, doing a photoshoot: we can't help watching them since then!

Back home, we feel aroused and in love as never before!
Wow...

[twofunnewfs]

You need to read our review "Best Week Ever!"

viewtopic.php?f=19&t=2864

[mrstommer]

This is the wife of tommer, as you can tell by my username... We were newbies to the resort last summer. I felt just like your wife. We are not into the lifestyle. We simply are passionate and love the white sands, the turquoise waters, the fabulous people we meet who work at the resorts in Mexico, and enjoy meeting those who enjoy the same. The clothing optional idea appealed because we appreciate the human body...I have an art background, studied and have drawn and painted the naked body. It is a beautiful thing! Tommer encouraged me to join the blog because as we read together, we came to the conclusion there were not many wifely types posting.

My first time at Desire was fraught with challenges that could have stopped anyone from ever wanting to return. In attempt to avert the monthly, I elected to take the 'pill'. HA! That did NOT work for me!! So...to answer your lady's concern about wearing a bikini bottom...I definitely did, as I also was wearing a 'tampon' (to be said in a whisper). This has become a private joke between us. I also suffered from an attack of bronchitis, due to suffering from smokey areas, and forgetting I was allergic to such (since I do not hang around smokey places and do not smoke). But...I had packed an antihistamine, just in case of an allergic reaction to something. HA! Didn't know I would actually need it!! So...then...I also suffered from a stomach ache...who knows why?? But, the point is that despite being spacey, experiencing the monthly, and not feeling too good, I and Tommer had a fabulous time!!!

Also, I have a scar on my upper thing, stretching down the length of my thigh, the result of a birthmark removal at age six months. No one even asked.

The wonderful time spent at Desire brought us closer, added fuel to our already volcanic flame, and over the past year have become tremendously excited to return! I learned that I need to speak loud and clear to others about my boundaries, as I did not understand that my timid ways were not read well. We found that Pearl was more to our liking because it was tamer, larger, and the beach....wow!!! We have had a fabulous time picking out sexy outfits, and have talked much more about our expectations and fantasies. We are devoted to each other, but do enjoy the atmosphere of passion. This does not mean that we want to swing, but simply enjoy being passionate with each other, and with those who also enjoy passion with their spouse.

I will continue to post...and this one was more of a practical response, but wanted to be of help. It is a magical place, Desire Pearl...

[Newd]

Thanks for the replies.

As a result of a lurker on this site contacting me via email, my wife chatted via Facebook with his wife. She gave some great suggestions.

In the end, I am about to book mid week February 19th to the 22. 3 nights. We will actually arrive to CUN on the 16th, but we are going to head to Tulum to do a little unwinding, maybe hit Belize, and do a little "stripping off" before we go headlong into Desire.

Then, after Desire, we are going to find somewhere else for a couple nights before leaving CUN on Sunday.

I was given the suggestion to only do Desire for 2 or 3 nights and not the entire trip. I think for my wife, talking to her, she's game for this idea. That way the entire trip isn't focused on this and we can "buffer" our arrival and departure with other experiences.

I have to admit that I am now a bit nervous about this since she has given the okay and we are headed.

I'm going to see if I can get her on the site so that she can ask questions and get some answers in regards to clothing at meals, clubs, etc.

[2naked]

It's going to be funny seeing your after trip report and how you decided to stay the whole time and regret not going straight to Desire from the airport when you first landed... Happens to the best of us... hope you have a great time and don't come home with too much regret