Apprehensive Spouse

[sgt1010]

Hello all you Desire addicts out there!! I have a problem thats needs fixing. I have brought up the idea of going to Desire to my beautiful wife, she says no but we keep making jokes about it and bring it up often. Being a detective for many years I believe that she is very interested in going but is afraid to tell me so. She thinks she is fat, she is not. Just last night she asked how she could get her ass ass tight as the girl in the picture from the resort website. so obviously she likes the idea. We are not in the "lifestyle" and probably would not engage while there, but that being said we are both very sexual with other and would enjoy being free to do whatever we want or not want to do. We will be married 16 years this january and i want to go for our anniversary and my 50th birthday. How do i get her to go? Anyone out there have the same problem and were lucky enough to get her to change her mind? My wife is beautiful, sexy, smart and I love her to death, I believe this vacation would do us wonders, just have to get her there. Any help would be greatly appreciated. Hope to see some of you in January. Lets keep our fingers crossed.

[miranda]

How can she get her butt to as tight as the gals in a photo? It's called photo-shop! LOL!

Desire is not as scary as one may think. These are just people - like you and your wife - who go there, we have not seen any "perfect 10's" (body-wise) but have met many friendly people who go and enjoy Desire for what it has to offer.

Keep reading here - especially the trip reports written by first-time couples who have the same anxious thoughts about their first trip to Desire.

Desire couldn't be a better place to celebrate your birthday and your anniversary!

[Piqued]

I recommend showing her this message board, and have her look through some of the posts. I have to admit, we were a bit intimidated by the Desire web site when we first looked into it, but in our experience (only one trip so far, but another coming up in just three days!), the crowd at Desire looked nothing like the one on the site.

As for getting her there, it sounds like she is willing to entertain the idea. Don't push it, and she'll probably agree to it eventually. Use your 50th as leverage! You only turn 50 once!

[tannaked]

We were there when the photos for the web site were taken a couple of years ago. All the people in the photos are professional models and were at Desire for a few days posing in just about every location.

The real people you meet at Desire come in all shapes, sizes and colours and when we are all naked it doesn't matter. We have seen very few (if any) perfect 10's in 10 trips so far.

Miranda's advice is sound. Read through this forum together and find out what other 1st timers have discovered. Desire is the ultimate couples bonding experience - lifestyle or not.

Ritch

[anneag]

We went for our first time the first week of June this year. A year prior to that, I would have never thought of myself being brave enough to go to a place like this. It was the one of the best times we've ever had. We are not lifestylers and probably won't ever be (experiment...maybe...) but, like you, we are very open sexually with each other. Anyway, what precipitated the Desire event was a trip to the topless optional pools in Las Vegas. It was not my intention to go topless, but...after a while (and a few, okay many, drinks), it just happened with absolutely no prodding from my husband, and I discovered it was quite liberating and sexual. So...searching the internet for a while...my husband found out about Desire and we went! It was awesome and we are in the process of planning another trip. There is no pressure at all to do anything you're not comfortable with. You really don't even have to be naked if you don't feel like it. There are many body types, and most people are of very average physique. I would say the majority of people there take care of their bodies, but there are very few, if any, "perfect" types. I don't believe I ever felt awkward and we just had such a nice time. It is a great place for couples if you're very communicative and sexually charged, and YOU'RE BOTH ON BOARD! I will say if fear is the only thing hold you and your wife back, go for it!

[allovatan]

What about suggesting a split trip? We could never bear to be in Mexico and not be at Desire, but it might be more appealing to her to ease into the Desire idea at another resort knowing its only a portion of the vacation.
If you go this route you may want to go at the end of your trip - 1) you won't want to leave to go to any other resort and 2) the weekends tend to hit close to full capacity and can be a bit wilder - heading there on a Wednesday or Thursday will allow her a day or two to get comfortable before things heat up.
I would also recommend joining the yahoo group for the time period you intend to be there - getting acquainted with some of the couples that will be there will take some of the edge off.

[oldseadog]

No-one else cares what you look like.
Just go for it.

[LaVieEnRose]

We had never been to Desire before. I was very apprehensive and nervous because like your wife we have been married 20 years and have 5 kids. To put it mildly I dont look anything like the models and no one else did neither. Ages ranged from about 25-75. From the people we met and from what I saw the Desire husbands are the best in the world always putting the wives first. I cannot recommend it enough!! We will definitely be going back.There is every size and shape around there. We literally just got home and are planning our next visit. Can't wait.

[sgt1010]

Thanks for all the replies, unfortunately it looks like it is a no go. I hope you all have a great time on your next visit.

[tout.prest]

Thanks for all the replies, unfortunately it looks like it is a no go. I hope you all have a great time on your next visit.

That IS unfortunate.....for her as well. She will be missing out on one of lifes coolest experiences.

I dont think there has ever been one woman, or man for that matter, that has walked through the doors of Desire for the first time , totally at ease. EVERYONE has concerns , but I have never seen anyone that doesnt get over them pretty quickly ! Im sure it happens on occasion, but for those it does...live and learn, nothing ventured-nothing gained, and so on....

My only advice would be to not push to hard, but to gently remind her, (if she has the slightest genuine interest) that people usually regret NOT trying something more than anything else !

Thats my cliche limit for the day now so i'll stop

Steve