Desire Resort Forums

We will be newbies to Desire RM in the middle of August. We have been to Temptation a few times. We keep this very quiet and would never share this with our friends nor family. We are well respected in our small community and would rather die than anyone know that we frequent in these places.
We have really enjoyed ourselves at Temptation and have dabbled a little bit, but we are not members of LS but interested in a soft swap or parallel play for sure.
We have struggled with revealing who we are when we meet people at these places. We struggle with telling people what our professions are and what our names are. Is this silly? Everyone that we have met has been very kind and open. I guess I just worry about someone trying to look us up or reach us in our home life. Anyone else struggle with this? And if so, how do you handle it?
I would like to be authentic in meeting new friends, but I’m also very concerned with protecting our selves.

Since you asked, yes, it sounds silly to act this way.
Guessing the high majority of us don't want to be 'outed', that we all have jobs, are respected, etc. It's a conversation starter- where you from, what do you do? Great way to meet folks. Do you seriously want to lie and carry on with a made up story all trip? Or, just say we're from 'near KC' and 'I work in 'x'. No one is taking notes (we're all naked). No one is digging, or even truly cares other than surface level- like, do I want to get to know this person better, or not. We've met our best friends at Desire over the years. How awful would it be to lie and not be authentic and miss out on those opportunities while at the friendliest, least judgmental place around?
As someone said to me years and years ago (don't take this how it sounds)- you're not that important, get over yourself and just have fun.

Thank you! I think I just needed to hear this. I totally agree with what you’re saying. Thank you for your two cents.

Hello wrote:Thank you! I think I just needed to hear this. I totally agree with what you’re saying. Thank you for your two cents.

I'm glad you took it as intended. All very relevant and real fears, certainly. Would never diminish how anyone feels. But once you get there, hopefully you'll see and understand and think 'boy, that was a nothing burger' (this from a guy who worries 5 steps ahead of what could possibly happen in every scenario)

Hello wrote:We will be newbies to Desire RM in the middle of August. We have been to Temptation a few times. We keep this very quiet and would never share this with our friends nor family. We are well respected in our small community and would rather die than anyone know that we frequent in these places.
We have really enjoyed ourselves at Temptation and have dabbled a little bit, but we are not members of LS but interested in a soft swap or parallel play for sure.
We have struggled with revealing who we are when we meet people at these places. We struggle with telling people what our professions are and what our names are. Is this silly? Everyone that we have met has been very kind and open. I guess I just worry about someone trying to look us up or reach us in our home life. Anyone else struggle with this? And if so, how do you handle it?
I would like to be authentic in meeting new friends, but I’m also very concerned with protecting our selves.

We don't always use our actual names when we meet people at the resort, generally. Like you, we are pretty guarded and would not want word of our flirty escapades to reach our family, friends, neighbors and coworkers. Maybe we are in the minority, but for us, it's better to be safe than sorry. I look at is as a best case vs worst case scenario.

Thank you for this! Nice to know there are others that feel the way we do! Thank you
We are looking forward to our time there in a few weeks! I guess we will fill it out as to what names we have lol

Hello wrote:We will be newbies to Desire RM in the middle of August. We have been to Temptation a few times. We keep this very quiet and would never share this with our friends nor family. We are well respected in our small community and would rather die than anyone know that we frequent in these places.
We have really enjoyed ourselves at Temptation and have dabbled a little bit, but we are not members of LS but interested in a soft swap or parallel play for sure.
We have struggled with revealing who we are when we meet people at these places. We struggle with telling people what our professions are and what our names are. Is this silly? Everyone that we have met has been very kind and open. I guess I just worry about someone trying to look us up or reach us in our home life. Anyone else struggle with this? And if so, how do you handle it?
I would like to be authentic in meeting new friends, but I’m also very concerned with protecting our selves.

With all due respect in understanding your concern, but to answer your question, I do find it kinda silly ... Everyone is in the same boat as you, so no one at Desire is going to be running around looking you up and "outing" you, lest they get outed themselves. I've met PTA presidents and school superintendents at Desire, doctors, lawyers, execs, you name it - and they all used their real names and we shared our life stories. That's the beauty of it. The trust and openness is the beauty of being there, more than even the sex. IMO.

Hi, I assume you are on your way back home by now. Can you give us an update on how things went? I sincerely hope that you both felt more comfortable being yourselves. I have said it before that in today’s connected world anonymity and privacy are an illusion. I wish this weren’t the world we live in but it is. As much as I hate to say it if being “outed” in an adult oriented environment or being in the LS causes your life to come to a crashing halt; then maybe you need to rethink your lifestyle. Susan and David make some create points. A true story from last time we were at DRM. We were sitting at the bar in the roof top Jacuzzi lounge when another couple came up and started talking to us. We were all getting along until I asked where they come from. They said Boston and I said where in Boston. As it turned out they live about 15 minutes from us. When they realized this they got real nervous, made some wack excuse and ran off. Honestly, I feel pity for folks like that who live in fear of themselves.

I get it. Everyone is a simple online search away from being easily IDed. I just rely on first names and general region (The South/The West/Rockies/Midwest/East Coast/West Coast) and leave it at that. “What do you do for a living?” “I don’t want to talk about work on my naked, boozy vacay, if it’s all the same to you. My phone is hundreds of feet away from me in the room. I’m disconnected. Read any good books recently?”

Like Villanova when we visit Desire we use only our first names and the city we live in. We have common names and how many people with same name live in the area. We don't talk about jobs and anything like that untill we know them better and like it was said earlier how many will say in public that they saw you at Desire without outing them selfs.

Yeah, rather than talking about what we do for work, we ask others “what do you do for fun, when you’re not working?”

First names, and very general information about where you come from, what you do seems to be all that’s needed for social conversation at the resort. Never found any need to dive into deep details or on the other hand be particularly secretive. If someone starts probing for more info that’s probably a signal for me that it’s time to move on. I’m not there for an interview!
You’re in control of what information you give to people, and like all social contact that typically stays pretty general until you step that relationship up to different level. At that point it’s your judgement.
To be honest, I think you are overthinking things. In reality this website might be more concern, even the most secure get hacked!

Just a quick note: If you are "Scott and Amy" from Boston, there's 0.05% chance someone could "out" you.

However, if you are Suresh and Priyanka from Podunk, Iowa... it might not be as challenging. So use your head: if you do not want to "outed" weigh what the chances are with the info you are willing to give out.

ninaandfrank wrote:Hi, I assume you are on your way back home by now. Can you give us an update on how things went? I sincerely hope that you both felt more comfortable being yourselves. I have said it before that in today’s connected world anonymity and privacy are an illusion. I wish this weren’t the world we live in but it is. As much as I hate to say it if being “outed” in an adult oriented environment or being in the LS causes your life to come to a crashing halt; then maybe you need to rethink your lifestyle. Susan and David make some create points. A true story from last time we were at DRM. We were sitting at the bar in the roof top Jacuzzi lounge when another couple came up and started talking to us. We were all getting along until I asked where they come from. They said Boston and I said where in Boston. As it turned out they live about 15 minutes from us. When they realized this they got real nervous, made some wack excuse and ran off. Honestly, I feel pity for folks like that who live in fear of themselves.

The 2nd time we were at Pearl - about a year and a half ago - we got to talking to a couple and realized we lived about 6 blocks from each other. This is a highly walkable neighborhood with a common main street. We laughed. Neither of us were worried. .... We've never seen them.

The whole week we were there last month, nobody once asked us what we do for a living. And we didn't ask what they did.
Names can be so hard to remember that couples wind up being "Arkansas" or "Jersey", and that's just fine with everyone.